Saturday 18 September 2010

Health and Safety

please note: there are many typos in this copy because I'm being very modern and writing this on my phone. But it makes for pretty poor grammar and sorry if it offends the more discerning readers.

I'd like to think I'm not an overly protective mother. I mean there are boundaries it's wise to keep within for the whole family's sanity and safety: like making sure sharp knives are out of reach of small hands or making sure hot pan handles are turned in from the kitchen or testing the bath water before small toes dip in for the nightly ritual. I suppose I'm a bit cautious when it comes to crossing roads: don't cross the road without me EVER even if it's a deserted country lane in Wales with no access to motorised Vehicles...
Child safety is pretty important and knowing my children are safe in their activities and environment and with their friends is pretty much the safest way for me to not turn into a messy insane mother. And it's relatively simple at this point in our life of being a family to uphold the standards of safety. Although small people are a bit idiotic and a bit prone to falling over and a bit prone to maybe walloping each other with hula-hoops or trying to accidentally on purpose push each other down the stairs, or whoops- did I really just knock the paint over and ruin your billionth picture of a flower, hey don't thump me I HATE you, etc - all this sort of activity requires is domestic vigilance and a certain level of maternal (or paternal) authority to ensure health and safety boundaries are not over stepped.

What is so hard to control though and here comes the crux of my story, is when the lives of ones children lie in the hands of others. Such as teachers. Or dinner ladies. Or after school club managers. Or childminders. Or grannies and aunts and uncles who generously have the 'winks for a weekend whilst slightly over worked or over stressed parents take off for 24 hours.
All the above are in theory reliable stand-INS for the absent real-deal and on the whole he safety of the child is not compromised in any way at all.
But, just sometimes a lapse in judgement can leave a parent cold withanxiety and fear for the safety of their child, as what hapened to me and Liz yesterday.

For various reasons I have recently had to take on a childminder (I've started a new course; Liz hasn't quite started school yet; there is an overlap of me needing time to study and therefore having to off load Liz onto others in order for me toget to grips with coursework etc). So. I found a childminder through an advert. She seemed perfectly fine. Chatty. Friendly with the girls. We had met up three times. She's had Liz on her own once.
Yesterday she was due tohave Liz for 3hours so I could study, and she turned up to my house 15 minutes early. Ina black mercedez Benz. With blacked outwindows. With a man I'd never seen efore driving. With a lady I'd never seen before in the backseat. Liz looked at the childminder getting out of this huge ominous vehicle with these strange alien faces peering out of the dark windows and headed straight to my legs with a vice-like grip.
Childminder said 'yeah hi we're going to get a lift back to mine in this car' I was like 'yeah hi who the he'll are those people I've never seen before and do you really think I'm letting my child get into that car with you? I don't know that man I don't know that woman and that car has blacked out windows and my daughter funnily enough is looming pretty anxious at the thought of it too.
Childminder agreed it may not have been the best plan but Liz could sit next to her in the car they'd be fine.
Childminder didn't seem to understand the concept of providing a secure environment for my child. Where is the safety in bringing 2 total strangers into the equation of this relationship?
I was overwhelmed with a strong physical reaction- shaking and felt sick - what if I had let Liz get into that mercedez. What could have happened? More likely that absolutely nothing would have happened and they'd have got to the childminders house and built a jigsaw. But something in me just balked at the whole setup and the lack of sensitivity demonstrated by the childminder. I reminded her of how it may feel to be 4 years old and to be asked to get into a car with one person she barely knows and two people she's never seen in her life. How would you feel? Safe? Secure? Happy? If you answer yes to all three then maybe you are made of stronger metal than I.
Just thinking about the potential risk I could have put Liz in yesterday had I nonchalently let her go with the childminder makes my heart actually beat faster.
Health and safety. Just can't be taken lightly.
I slept on yesterdays event and spoke to Husband and various super-intelligent friends and the conclusion is obvious. I have a phonecall to make.