its the end... continued...

Oh god. X-factor is on.
The screaming contestants. The screaming audience. The celebrity-ification of dreadful people on TV for less than a few minutes. Oh, please. Spare me.
Get me to BBC 1 for some spangles and D-listers tripping about the glittery dancefloor in floating dresses...

It is the end of summer that's for sure. All the autumn-to-winter-extended shows have all just kicked off: X factor, Strictly, Spooks, Apprentice... There's simply not enough time! And that doesn't include the old fave... E.Enders.

It worries me that Mol, who has never, as far as I'm aware, seen more than 30 seconds of X-factor, did an impression of Simon Cowell two nights ago, whilst wearing nothing but a pair of pj-trousers. She pulled them up to her little boobies and said to me: Mum! (cracking up because it was actually really funny she did look VERY stupid) Mum! who am I? guess! who am I (more hilarity and cackles...)?
Mol, I said. Are you Humpty Dumpty? (Have you seen the nursery rhyme story books? He has high waisted eggy-trouser-clothing-garment things.)
Shrieks of stomach-crunching-laughter.
NOOOoooooo! Who AM I? She says, hauling the pj's up higher still, (I'm thinking, ouch? wedgy doesn't even get close to what's going on down there...)
Um, Obelix? (Another round person with flattering high waisted cover-all-body-shapes trousers...)
NOOOOOOOooooooooo. Mol on her back on the floor howling like a baby ware-wolf.
Liz meanwhile is just laughing - no idea what the hell is going on but its way too funny whatever it is so she's shrieking too. I'm thinking. Fuck get me out of here these kids have finally turned.
Anyway.
Then Mol goes: SIMON COWL!
I'm stunned into goldfish gasping.
Mol, I say. How do you know who this man is?
Oh, Miss Emma (their teacher) did an impression of him in PE with her tracksuit. It was sooooo funny.
More hysteria.
I creep out, slowly, backwards, of the bedroom, and leave them there cackling like a pair of demented witches.