jingle bells batman smells

Hurrah!
Halloween is over.
And now... bring on the tinsel and bells and ho-ho-ho-ing Father Christmas's.
Rock n Roll it's 6 weeks till Christmas.
I have been going through my mental check list. I thought I would share it with you because you never know, it may help you too.

Have you done your Christmas shopping?
Yeah right. Who does it in November? Per-leeez.

Have you found your glittery baubles?
In a damp box in the basement going green with rot. 

Have you darned your childrens' Christmas stockings?
Will sellotape do? 

Have you remembered all those things that popped into your head over the year (or since Boxing Day last year) that you may like for Christmas?
No.

Is it going to snow this year on Christmas day?
No. They'll be so disappointed. Again. 

Have your children started The Countdown yet?
A little bit. But their maths is bad.  

What is your current account status?
Dire. 

Are you excited about Christmas?
Currently more excited about the spelling of the new Greek Prime ministers surname. 

Are you a little bit too bah-humbug.
Perhaps. But if I play it down massively then the day can only be a bit better than expected, yeah?

Have you written to FC yet?
Not me personally. I don't believe in 'him'. But Liz has; a hilariously painful process. I now have to work out how to post the letter to FC so that the right elves - doh, I mean, humans - see the requests. 


Do you have a survival tactic for getting your Christmas Shopping done? 
Yes. It's simple. Online. Glass of Wine. Credit Card. Bish Bash Bosh.

Finally, some tips for enjoying the Christmas season as a family...?
Be positive and encouraging...
Whatever they query - tell them its true. 
Jesus was born in a manger (poor old Mary - must've been dreadfully uncomfortable...) under a huge star; 
Father Christmas comes down the chimney, no, he won't get stuck, no he won't wake you, yes, he'll like a mince pie; 
Yes singing carols in the rain is FUN; 
Yes, we have to go to church because otherwise God will know and you may not get any presents; 
Yes, I need this next glass of prosecco. 

And just remember - as you're on the edge of sanity and about to explode with annoyance that you've wrapped your stocking presents with the same paper as the bloody presents under the tree - that you were once a child too, and how fun all the mystery was, and take heart that your supreme efforts do not go to waste... Shine the halo, take a deep breath, suck on the red wine, re-wrap. FC will have a place for you on his sleigh next year, no doubt.