Lightening strikes.

 

Standing at the window looking out onto the manicured school gardens four stories below I can see the old chestnut tree swaying in the wind. There is a loud and ill- tempered noise as the chestnut branches wave dramatically. The window-panes rattle in their lead settings and I can feel the air squeezing through like needles, spiking my bare arms. All of eight of us are standing at the window. The whole dorm. The dorm captain, a 6^th former of dizzying sophistication, has her left arm around me and her right around the other first year. We’re the youngest, the smallest, the newest to the senior school. She’s feeling protective, perhaps.The others are all standing, clutching the window sill as the purple sky lit up with sheets of lightening, rages. 

 

The noise is unsettling, never heard before. A deep rumble with layers of screeching, crunching, surprise thumps, a dustbin falls on its side somewhere in the near distance and crashes, and the chestnut surges in the extreme wind. Leaves are racing around in mini tornadoes. It’s 3am. 

 

Where are the staff? No one has come to check us at our top floor dorm, the only one on the upper floor of the boarding house. The dorm captain had tried the lights but it seems the power is off. So we stand at the window and watch the mayhem. The girl in the year above me standing in our line of nighty-clad bodies clasps her hands to her mouth in a hidden gasp as what looks like a  black bin bag flaps past our window. It gave me a fright she says weakly. My knees are quivering. It’s cold standing at this window, late October, with pins of wind stabbing our skin. We can’t tear ourselves away. It’s like being inside the TV. An unreal reality. More lightening races across the purple sky. A thrashing of rain against our noisy windows. 

 

I wonder what my parents are doing. I had a postcard from them, they were somewhere in Italy, was it Florence? I hadn’t really paid attention. A picture of a statue looking pious, “delicious ice cream darling” was the message. The unpainted door of our dorm slams shut as the air is sucked through the room – I thought it was shut already said the dorm captain with quivery surprise in her voice. I can feel the warmth of her body through my nighty, I’m glad to feel it. Safe. 

 

Eight intakes of breath as the chestnut bends all the way over and we hear the protest from its 300 year old trunk, I’m not made to bend this way, and as the wind suddenly drops the tree rights itself once more. Relief.

We are all thinking will it fall?

The wind continues with such anger. Swirling. Violent. More things – unidentifiable – whiz by our heads – we are high up – at the top of this old, old house, also straining against the abusive gale. 

 

Eight sets of rigid shoulders and wide eyes.

Still no adults. Where are they? The door to the dorm loudly rattles again and we jump. I flip my head around but no one is there. 

 

There’s always an eye to a storm, isn’t there? Asks the fourth former next to me. There has to be a lull. Surely. I can smell her breath, stale toothpaste from brushing her teeth hours ago. Hours ago we were in bed, listening to Madonna, reading our books, waiting for matron to do her final patrol. Where is matron now? Should we stop looking out of the window? I think we are beginning to feel frightened. Not excited any more.

 

The wind ramps up and we can feel the floor beneath our bare chilly feet vibrate as the glass before our eyes visibly moves.

More sharp breaths: The chestnut. Look. It’s… 

 

There is a howling sound that slices my head between my eyes – I fall backwards and then I hear and see and feel nothing. Just calm and darkness.

 

When I wake, I’m at my Grandmothers house in a room I’ve not been in for years and years. It’s confusing. How did I get here? I thought I was at school.

My eyes come into focus and I see my Granny sitting in a chair beside my bed. The sun is shining in behind her.

Hello sleepy, I’m so glad you’re here.

Hi Granny, and she holds my hand.

At the end of my bed is Willow. She’s curled up in a little yellow ball of soft velvety dogginess. Willow! But how? Granny – I didn’t think Willow was…

Oh, she is my love. She is. It’s just been a while since you saw her.

Everything seems vague and soft and a bit subdued. Peaceful.

Granny says come with me, love.

I get out of bed. I’m in the same nighty I was in when I was watching the storm. I frown down and feel a bit confused again. 

 

We go downstairs and I look out into her garden.

Granny I haven’t seen you for so long, it’s so nice to be here.

She looks into my eyes and smiles.

We go into her garden and start to walk up the hill behind her house. My head feels clear but when I put my hand to my forehead I get a jolt of pain – like lightening – and I fall to the ground. 

 

I wake up again in bed, Willow tucked up on the floor beside me this time. I reach out a hand. Granny walks into the room.
Hello sleepy, are you feeling better?

I think so, I say, but it’s hard to tell. My hand rests on the dog, her body rising and falling beneath. Calm.

It’s dark outside. 

Something is different in Grannys house but I can’t work out what it is.

Then I realise. She’s taken everything off the walls. There are no pictures, no photos, no mirrors. Little furniture. Like she’s cleared it all away.

Granny what’s happened to your walls? She looks at me a long time and then says I’ll tell you when the time is right.

I realise other things. I haven’t eaten anything and I don’t feel hungry or thirsty and I don’t know what day it is and I worry I should be at school and where are mum and dad?

Where are my clothes Granny?

She looks at me again and I notice her eyes are very, very dark.

She holds my hand across the table.

Darling. She says again. 

 

Something is fidgeting in my head. A flash of a memory. A car smashed into a wall. Police sirens. Mum crying in a church. I don’t understand.

But Granny you’re here. I thought, I mean, I remember the car crash. Willow was there too.

Darling. She pushes a newspaper towards me.

There is an article taking up quarter of the page:

“School girl dies after freak hurricane lightening strike” there is a photo of me next to the article.

I’m dead.