Oink Oink.

What's the deal with swine flu? Most of my borough apparently has the virus - schools have shut down, the health-line is engaged permanently, the doctors waiting room is segregated between non-sufferers and icky-infected victims.
So when my Mol fell ill with "mystery" illness on Saturday and was feverish all Sunday and moaning and groaning with a sore head, and I spent 8hours with my mobile phone in my pocket on extra-loud, waiting for Cami-doc to return my call, all I could think was, oh dear, does she have it now too? According to Cami-doc her symptoms (fever, headache, sore throat, slight cough, runny nose) match the listed symptoms of swine-flu. This list however, to the layperson & mother familiar with such symptoms on a regular basis, sounds very much like a cold or tonsillitus or just, y'know, regular flu? Anyway, Cami-doc advised consultation with our GP (who is a mad woman with big hair - on head & chin - and a pretty indiscreet bedside manner... I recall her letting me know of 4 other women who had just got pregnant on my road at the time I went to register my 2nd pregnancy - oh, yes, they're all called Vanessa, how funny is that? Your road is so middle class. She squeaked at me.What the hell has that got to do with anything? She also has an unnerving tendency to tell exhausted over sensitive post natal mothers that they're way over weight and really when are they planning on going on the post natal diet? Sweet lady.)
Anyway, we sat in the segregated section of our waiting room. With a sort of green-aura around us, uggy victims, like a rotten-Ready-Break-glow. People trying not to stare through the glass window on the door.
The doctor saw us, we described the symptoms, she told us about her trip to Synagogue on the weekend, we asked her about whether Mol needed any treatment, she tried to stick a giant ear-bud down her throat for a swab, Mol groaned with her sore head, GP told us about the rules for swine flu in Brent and wondered about the rules in Harringay. And then she said, so! would you like me to treat her?
Uh? Hello? We're not doctors? Uh, hello DOCTOR surely at this point you tell us what you are planning on doing with our daughter? Oh, yes, I suppose that's a jolly good idea she laughs merrily. Ha, I'm not very with it, no mask or gloves or any idea how to open the swabbing packet! Ha ha ha. I'll just phone my colleague and ask what to do!
Me and Husband look at each other with confused raised eyebrows - thinking quietly - do we leg it out of there now in case she prescribes morphine & arsenic by mistake?
Anyway. The long and the short of it is that Mol is now on Tami-flu, as a precaution, since her symptoms match those of the dreaded lurgy - however I suspect Mol actually has a case of end-of-term-itus-Mol-flu which she gets every end of term as far as I can remember...
The tami-flu comes in a capsule. 6 year olds not very good at taking capsules. So every morning and evening I'm there on the chopping board sawing the damned capsule in half trying not to spill any of its precious contents, and then I mix it with jam or strawberry milkshake and Mol gags and chokes just to show that she KNOWS the medicine is in there.
Its all been such good fun.
Meanwhile Liz is like toddler-on-short-fuse and hating having to play fiddle to "ill" sister who makes a lot of noise about not very much.
Its SO boring.
When I asked the GP about how long it takes to pass from one person to the next, how contagious it all is, she replied "ha, oh, really, i haven't a clue!"
Which was just about what I expected to hear.
So I wonder if we'll all get it? Oink.