The Interview

Ah well, another 45 mins spent in a strange room with two strange people asking me a strange mix of questions ("do you know Mrs Del up in Highbury?" "Um, yes, she's my mother in law." "Oh, I thought so, yes we JP* together. Do you think she'd look after your children in the summer holidays? Just that I'm a grandmother too, and have, rather naively, commited to one day a week with my grandson who is 6months old and I'm not sure it was such a good idea after all! Ha ha ha. I pushed the pram out too far into the road, nearly got hit by a car! So do you think she'd want to do it for you? Can you assume that line of care is secure?")(*JP - justice of peace.) She was wearing great big squares of gold dangling from her dangly ear lobes. And had glasses that she abused by pushing into her hair and letting drop down her nose and then pushing back up again, and drop down. As a glass wearer, abuse of glasses in this way is painful to watch. The slack fitting means the wearer doesn't respect the frames and also, actually, is not suffering very problematic eyesight as they can choose whether the glasses are up or down. As a severely - I'm probably nearly BLIND - short sighted astigmatised mother (that means my eyes aren't totally round (i know, i know, eyes aren't round but i've forgotten what that shape is called) they're rugby ball shape) I can't afford to let my glasses slip off my nose for a second else I'd walk straight under a bus without realising what the big red blur coming towards me making lots of noise was until - shame - too late.
And her colleague sat on the other side of me (they had sort of cornered me) in a purple shop-t-shirt, and he asked a few pertinent questions about my CV... ("you never seem to stay at jobs very long do you?)
Then the 64,000 dollar $$$$$$ question came up: Can you do power point?
At that point I hope her glasses were slipping off her face so that she couldn't tell my (just a white) lie "oh, well, yes a bit I did a course a while back (make that over 10 years ago) so would just need to brush up a bit (no idea what the hell the programme is even for)..." blush blush blush look down look up look around don't make eye contact they'll SEE through my LIE...
Anyway. We shall see. I was interested at the point she made: we're very into presentation here; which made me wonder why she had forced all her staff (not herself though) to wear shocking purple t-shirts and why the office was a dark windowless airless dump?
I'd like to get the job because maybe I'd get some cheap plants. But not for the purple t. She said would I mind counting Christmas trees at Christmas time? I was like, yeah, no problem, think I'm OK at counting. "We get 800 delivered in one go on the pavement."
OK.
I forgot to put in the interests part of the applications: Gardening / plants / shrubs etc. Oh well. We shall see. We shall see! (or not if my glasses are squashed under a London bus...)
The one and only awesome Uncle Scratchy looked after M&L whilst I did my interview. He said L was ok but she fell off her bike three times on the way to get M from school. Is this normal he said? Um, no, Uncle Scratchy. Maybe something to do with the half packet of Pringles and Chocolate Fingers you gave her after I left? Some sort of hideous biological sugar-salt over load? Total co-ordination failure?

And back to East Enders. Oh Stacey Stacy Stacey. What a mess. And this was like such a racy episode! Every other scene someone kissing someone else - Max & Tanya were kissing for the duration of TWO episodes! The longest kiss ever! And then, after all that, she got cold feet. Poor Max. All revved up and nowhere to burn rubber.